If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECKOne thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
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Cats invented self-esteem.
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Housework can kill you if done right.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
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Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
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I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
ERMA BOMBECK