No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
ERMA BOMBECKOnion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
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Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
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There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
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The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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Never have more children than you have car windows.
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He who laughs lasts.
ERMA BOMBECK