“When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn’t wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.”

On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.

On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.

Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say ‘My wife makes a delicious cake’ to some hooker?

Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say ‘My wife makes a delicious cake’ to some hooker?

Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say ‘My wife makes a delicious cake’ to some hooker?

I saw what’s going on under my chin. I don’t want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.

Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: ‘We will laugh tomorrow about this.’ And you do.

Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you’re funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.

I said to my husband, ‘Why don’t you call out my name when we’re making love?’ He said, ‘I don’t want to wake you up.’

To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train.

One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.

With age comes wisdom. You don’t need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.

I use a smoke alarm as a timer.

Don’t cook. Don’t clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum.

I was so ugly that my parents sent my picture to ‘ripley’s believe it or not’ – they sent it back and said, “we don’t believe it.”

Thank God we’re living in a country where the sky’s the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

In case you’re still wondering why there’s no real change in sight… We can’t solve a crisis unless we treat it like a crisis.

People keep doing what they do because the vast majority doesn’t have a clue about the consequences of our everyday life. And they don’t know the rapid changes required.

All we have to do is to wake up and change.

We understand that the world is very complex and that change doesn’t happen overnight. But you’ve now had more than three decades of blah blah blah. How many more do you need?

For a change let me taste your thumb tonight.

We can’t call for climate justice while advocating for policies and phase-out-dates based on targets that exclude aspect of equity and historic emissions.

My mother used to say “Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today” I say What can you do today to make the world a better place?

I hope you grow. I hope you change. It almost didn’t fazed me, when you chose her. You always wanted what you couldn’t have.