This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful.
W. C. FIELDSTake me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS -
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS -
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS -
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS -
You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. FIELDS -
I like children. If they’re properly cooked.
W. C. FIELDS -
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS -
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS -
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDS -
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS -
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS -
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS -
The nation needs to return to the colonial way of life, when a wife was judged by the amount of wood she could split.
W. C. FIELDS