Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDSTake me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS -
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS -
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS -
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS -
Sex isn’t necessary. You don’t die without it, but you can die having it.
W. C. FIELDS -
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS -
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS -
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS -
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS -
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDS -
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.
W. C. FIELDS -
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS -
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS -
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS