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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

W. C. Fields

I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
There’s no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Parents Tough
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS

Need Quit Stupidity Time
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Breathe
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
Prayers never bring anything, They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy – but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas.
W. C. FIELDS

Gift Ignorance Peace Prayer Wisdom
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Myself Time
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
Yes I do like children, Girl children, about eighteen or twenty.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Myself Woman
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

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