I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDSI am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS -
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS -
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS -
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never drink water. I’m afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. FIELDS -
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS -
Anyone who hates children and animals can’t be all bad.
W. C. FIELDS -
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS -
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDS -
Wouldn’t it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS -
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS -
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS -
Try till you succeed, if you don’t succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!
W. C. FIELDS -
During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
W. C. FIELDS