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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

W. C. Fields

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny Man Myself
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
W. C. FIELDS

Worth Wrong
I never voted for anybody. I always voted against.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Vote
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Thankful Woman
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Myself Perspective Sea
I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS

Believe Empty Food Myself Weird
I drink therefore I am.
W. C. FIELDS

Instagram Captions Myself One Liner
I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food Myself See
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
W. C. FIELDS

Father Myself Prison
I don’t drink anymore, on the other hand I don’t drink any less either.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
Now don’t say you can’t swear off drinking; it’s easy. I’ve done it a thousand times.
W. C. FIELDS

Easy Time Yourself

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

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