It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
W. C. FIELDSI am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
More W. C. Fields Quotes
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When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS -
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS -
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS -
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
W. C. FIELDS -
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS -
I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. FIELDS -
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.
W. C. FIELDS -
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS -
I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
W. C. FIELDS -
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
W. C. FIELDS -
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS -
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. FIELDS -
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS -
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS -
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS






