black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

W. C. Fields

I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.
W. C. FIELDS

Believe Empty Food Myself Weird
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. FIELDS

Marriage Night Survive Woman
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
Somebody’s been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
W. C. FIELDS

Food Funny
When you wake up in the morning, smile – and get it over with.
W. C. FIELDS

Morning Smile Wake Up Yourself
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
Alcoholic: anybody who drinks more than I do.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Live Myself
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Hope Life Lost
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason.
W. C. FIELDS

Excellence Friendship Future Present Reason Remember
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Illusion Reality
It’s a funny old world. A man’s lucky if he gets out of it alive.
W. C. FIELDS

Alive Funny Old World
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy

I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More W. C. Fields Quotes