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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

W. C. Fields

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.
W. C. FIELDS

Choice Inspirational Yourself
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
W. C. FIELDS

Face Man Time
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Togetherness
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Hope Life Lost
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Morning Myself
Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!
W. C. FIELDS

Togetherness Travel
I never eat before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Eat Myself One Liner
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. FIELDS

Herself Thankful Woman
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.
W. C. FIELDS

Happiness Instagram Captions Money Place
You can’t cheat an honest man.
W. C. FIELDS

Honesty Man Yourself
A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Pain Woman
Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.
W. C. FIELDS

Trust Yourself

I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

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I personally stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.

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