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You can’t control things by being nervous.

Tina Fey

I want every day to be the most boring news day ever. I want every day to be about spelling bee champions and baby basketball. It’s better to have no comedy material than a horrific news day.
TINA FEY

Baby Basketball Boring Champion Every Most News Spell
In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.
TINA FEY

Boss Case Good Mean People Talent Top Management Way Witty
Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.
TINA FEY

Actual Convert Gay People Thinking Witnesses Witty
Seriously, I’ve just realized that almost everyone is a fraud, so I try not to feel too bad about it.
TINA FEY

Bad Ecveryonbe Feel Fraud Realize Trying
There are no mistakes only opportunities.
TINA FEY

Inspirational Mistake Opportunity Successful
I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.
TINA FEY

Design Excercise Funny Machine People Reward Sex Someone Workout
People lose their minds, trying to prove their parental worth by getting their children into one of five colleges; when there are thousands of good colleges across the United States – and elsewhere.
TINA FEY

Children Country Elsewhere Mind Parent People Prove Thousand
Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.
TINA FEY

Badass Being Care Like Thing Witty Yourself
Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue.
TINA FEY

Consider Inexperience Job Politics Prostitution Uinexperience Virtue
I got a fan letter on the back of a prison menu. And I remember thinking, ‘Well, they get pie. It’s not so bad. They get pie on the weekends.’ I want to say blueberry and also a Boston cream pie. Not so bad.
TINA FEY

Back Bad Fan Pie Remember Think Thinking Weekend Well
A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby’s temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who’s boss.
TINA FEY

Baby Boss Determine Medical Rectal School Study Thermometer Way
I was first in my class at Johns Hopkins, so?” Make statements, with your actions and your voice.
TINA FEY

Action Class Country First Make People Place Statement Voice
Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.
TINA FEY

Career Obstacles Part Problem Solution Witty
It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring on live TV.
TINA FEY

Boring Overrated Perfect TV Witty
You can’t control things by being nervous.
TINA FEY

Being Control Nervous Thing
(My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.)
TINA FEY

Children Moment Protest Time Uncles Witty

You can’t control things by being nervous.

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You can’t control things by being nervous.

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