“You transition as a mother from literally just pulling a booger out of that person’s nose whenever you see one until at some point they assert: “No, I’m a person. You can’t fix my underpants on the subway.””

An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women’s Affairs. Man, who’d she have to show here ankles to to get that job?

I’m not that good looking… nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars, and maybe four are amazing looking. The rest have a team of gay guys who make it happen.

(Some people say “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.)

Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.

I can’t possibly take time off for a second baby, unless I do, in which case that is nobody’s business and I’ll never regret it for a moment unless it ruins my life.

Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it’s only because I struggle with math.

Every kid has something they’re good at, that you hope they find and gravitate toward.

I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.

I prefer the retro chic of spending Christmas just like Joseph and Mary did – Traveling arduously back to the place of your birth to be counted, with no guarantee of a bed when you get there.

In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors.

You’re not in competition with other women. You’re in competition with everyone.

Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.

In real life, people in the most dire situations must cope through humor.

If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.

Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.

There’s a lot of music that sounds like it’s literally computer-generated, totally divorced from a guy sitting down at an instrument.

We literally lived underground. We dug a hole and lived there for years. My father cleaned public toilets, even though he was a highly respected poet.

As soon as you believe that a label you’ve put on yourself is true, you’ve limited something that is literally limitless, you’ve limited who you are into nothing but a thought.

Truth is quite literally the only thing that does exist. It is not hidden but in plain view, not lacking but abundantly present.

There is, quite literally, nothing to understand.

Social media is driving the culture, it drives peoples minds literally.

Did he take them literally? He paused and said, ‘Well, I believe slavery is a much-maligned institution. If we had slavery today, we would not have this welfare mess.’

Adrian Rogers told us as often as he could he took the Bible literally.