“You transition as a mother from literally just pulling a booger out of that person’s nose whenever you see one until at some point they assert: “No, I’m a person. You can’t fix my underpants on the subway.””

Thomas Jefferson-another gorgeous white boy who would not have been interested in me. This was my problem in a nutshell. To get some play in Charlottesville, you had to be either a Martha Jefferson or a Sally Hemings.

Lesson learned? When people say, “You really, really must” do something, it means you don’t really have to. No one ever says, “You really, really must deliver the baby during labor.” When it’s true, it doesn’t need to be said.

This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in ten thousand pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over fourteen thousand dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.

I don’t like a tremendous amount of conflict. I don’t think that fighting and passion are the same thing.

Nothing is creepier than a bunch of adults being very quiet.

You can’t control things by being nervous.

If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty. “Who cares?”

A Clinical Study. Taking some time to read each night really taught me how to feign narcolepsy when my husband asked me what my “plan” was for taking down the Christmas tree.

You’ve got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.

I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities.

My work is my work. I take my work seriously but I don’t take myself too seriously.

I feel like there is a lot of inherent humor in the stress and insanity surrounding that process.

To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.

I was first in my class at Johns Hopkins, so?” Make statements, with your actions and your voice.

When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.

There are no mistakes only opportunities.

Truth is quite literally the only thing that does exist. It is not hidden but in plain view, not lacking but abundantly present.

There is, quite literally, nothing to understand.

Social media is driving the culture, it drives peoples minds literally.

Did he take them literally? He paused and said, ‘Well, I believe slavery is a much-maligned institution. If we had slavery today, we would not have this welfare mess.’

Adrian Rogers told us as often as he could he took the Bible literally.

The paint literally tells a story: what this thing is made of, where it’s been, what it’s been used for, and for how long.

the new japan guys were ready to make a statement as it was this really big event in America. But the cool thing about this relationship is we’ve literally become a family now.

Toby Zeigler: There’s literally no one in the world I don’t hate right now.