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Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.

Tim Allen

The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas – where it’s a beautiful theater – is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.
TIM ALLEN

Advantage Beautiful Myself Play Reality Show Theatre
Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first.
TIM ALLEN

Hands Path Resistance Yourself
I’m one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.
TIM ALLEN

Environment Man Myself Spoil
Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
TIM ALLEN

Goodness Lying Man Myself Positive
I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.
TIM ALLEN

Adult Children Goodness Independent
Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we’re just the tallest people living here.
TIM ALLEN

Advice Children Live Parents People
Real men don’t use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer’s opinion on how to put this together.
TIM ALLEN

Instruction Man Manufacturer Reality Togetherness
My comedy is not mine. It’s a gift. I’m not that smart.
TIM ALLEN

Comedy Gift Intelligence Myself Smart
I don’t understand why it has to be either – or – either socialism or democracy. Why can’t we combine things to get the best of each system?
TIM ALLEN

Best Choice Combination Myself System Understand
To get a man’s attention, just stand in front of the TV and don’t move. He’ll talk to you. I promise.
TIM ALLEN

Attention Himself Man Move Talk Television Yourself
Before Kady was born, I didn’t think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.
TIM ALLEN

Born Children Deal Myself Thinking Time
If you don’t decide where you’re going, life will decide for you.
TIM ALLEN

Control Decision Direction Journey Path Yourself
I’m a very bad student, but a great learner.
TIM ALLEN

Greatness Learning Myself Student
I love women. I actually prefer girls, as a parent, because they disappoint at a different age. They go through that, “Dad’s an idiot,” which lasted a little longer than I’d like.
TIM ALLEN

Age Different Disappoint Love Myself Preference Woman
I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.
TIM ALLEN

Artist Life Logo Love Myself
In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.
TIM ALLEN

Calm Challenge Experience Father Kind Time

Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.

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Popular Authors

Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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