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To get a man’s attention, just stand in front of the TV and don’t move. He’ll talk to you. I promise.

Tim Allen

When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite.
TIM ALLEN

Meaning Opposite Smart Yourself
A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
TIM ALLEN

Day Himself Interest Love Man
I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It’s not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I’ll do it because it’s a moment that will stick with me forever.
TIM ALLEN

Forever Love Marriage Moments Myself Young
If it ain’t broke, you can probably still fix it.
TIM ALLEN

Break Fix Repair Yourself
In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.
TIM ALLEN

Calm Challenge Experience Father Kind Time
Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink.
TIM ALLEN

Drink Money Oneself Party Rich Wealth
Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.
TIM ALLEN

Death Dog Food Leaving
I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it’s one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they’re going to want something from me I can’t give, or they’re going to hurt me.
TIM ALLEN

Audience Easy Hurt Myself Time
But separate a man from his car – that’s inhuman.
TIM ALLEN

Human Man Separate Vehicle
I wonder if to stare into the face of God will drive me crazy. (I wonder who would blink first.)
TIM ALLEN

Crazy Drive Face God Myself Stare Wonder
My comedy is not mine. It’s a gift. I’m not that smart.
TIM ALLEN

Comedy Gift Intelligence Myself Smart
Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.
TIM ALLEN

Funny Golf Lost Missing Play Sports Yourself
I’ve gotten so far past the Android and iPhones that I’m back to a flip-phone. It’s funny, you can buy antique flip-phones online. A lot of us collect them. Clearly, they’re considered antiques.
TIM ALLEN

Consider Funny Phone Technology
All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew.
TIM ALLEN

Alone Crow Encouragement Man Substitute Support Thinking
I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I’ve never gotten over it.
TIM ALLEN

Children Father Fear Irrational Lose Myself
I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.
TIM ALLEN

Children Drive License Protection Requirement

To get a man’s attention, just stand in front of the TV and don’t move. He’ll talk to you. I promise.

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To get a man’s attention, just stand in front of the TV and don’t move. He’ll talk to you. I promise.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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