Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
TIM ALLENI don’t understand why it has to be either – or – either socialism or democracy. Why can’t we combine things to get the best of each system?
More Tim Allen Quotes
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Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
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Before Kady was born, I didn’t think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.
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I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.
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Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn’t go far didn’t see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.
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Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.
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A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad’s car. I don’t blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don’t have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.
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I blend memories. I blend them into one that’s funny. I exaggerate to clarify.
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I wonder if to stare into the face of God will drive me crazy. (I wonder who would blink first.)
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Sometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of “Yeah, we might have to reboot.”
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I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
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Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.
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There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
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If it ain’t broke, you can probably still fix it.
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The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas – where it’s a beautiful theater – is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.
TIM ALLEN