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I’m one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.

Tim Allen

Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
TIM ALLEN

Animal Man Own
But separate a man from his car – that’s inhuman.
TIM ALLEN

Human Man Separate Vehicle
For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.
TIM ALLEN

God Ideas Myself Religion Time
I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it’s one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they’re going to want something from me I can’t give, or they’re going to hurt me.
TIM ALLEN

Audience Easy Hurt Myself Time
Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they’re going to respect Mom.
TIM ALLEN

Children Learning Myself Respect
Never comment on a woman’s rear end. Never use the words ‘large’ or ‘size’ with ‘rear end’. Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.
TIM ALLEN

Area Avoid Comment Togetherness Woman
I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I’ve never gotten over it.
TIM ALLEN

Children Father Fear Irrational Lose Myself
You don’t know what people are really like until they’re under a lot of stress.
TIM ALLEN

People Stress Tension Yourself
Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.
TIM ALLEN

Action Man Willing Woman Work
A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
TIM ALLEN

Day Himself Interest Love Man
I blend memories. I blend them into one that’s funny. I exaggerate to clarify.
TIM ALLEN

Clarify Funny Memories Myself
I think there’s a percentage that don’t realize, that don’t know that [standup] is how everything began. We planned it, we work hard, rehearsals to get this. It’s more of a it’s not just coming in there in a T-shirt and holding a microphone.
TIM ALLEN

Beginning Comedy Hard Work Hold Stand Thinking
Boys can be disgusting. You can’t leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We’re just obnoxious.
TIM ALLEN

Alone Disgust Leaving Ourselves Paint Time
Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
TIM ALLEN

Comedy One Liner Ultimate
To get a man’s attention, just stand in front of the TV and don’t move. He’ll talk to you. I promise.
TIM ALLEN

Attention Himself Man Move Talk Television Yourself
I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.
TIM ALLEN

Artist Life Logo Love Myself

I’m one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.

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I’m one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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