I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
TIM ALLENI’m sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
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Dog’s listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.
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In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.
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Never comment on a woman’s rear end. Never use the words ‘large’ or ‘size’ with ‘rear end’. Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.
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Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.
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Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.
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For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.
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To get a man’s attention, just stand in front of the TV and don’t move. He’ll talk to you. I promise.
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I have always enjoyed do-it-yourself projects, .. Being in a position to actually help design and bring tools to market is an incredible opportunity. Being able to fund charities as a result is phenomenal.
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I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I’ve never gotten over it.
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Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.
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I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it’s one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they’re going to want something from me I can’t give, or they’re going to hurt me.
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If you want to condemn yourself for the mistakes you’ve made, let’s be fair, that means you’ve got to congratulate yourself for all the good things you’ve done. It’s okay to say, “God, I wish I’d done this; yeah, but I did do that.” Then it kind of balances out.
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Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we’re just the tallest people living here.
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A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad’s car. I don’t blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don’t have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.
TIM ALLEN