Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
TIM ALLENWhen somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they’re going to respect Mom.
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I grew up around hunters. I love guns, bows, arrows, compasses and binoculars. I don’t do any of that stuff, I just like the stuff. I shot one animal, in my life, and I didn’t like it. If I had to skin an animal to eat it, I’d probably eat vegetables.
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Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.
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I have always enjoyed do-it-yourself projects, .. Being in a position to actually help design and bring tools to market is an incredible opportunity. Being able to fund charities as a result is phenomenal.
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When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite.
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Women are brilliant. Every woman knows how to do the weirdest thing right out of the bucket. Every woman knows how to do that Hindu head wrap with the towel out of the shower. Ever try to do that? You look like a drunk Iraqi soldier.
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There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
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A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad’s car. I don’t blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don’t have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.
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I’ve gotten so far past the Android and iPhones that I’m back to a flip-phone. It’s funny, you can buy antique flip-phones online. A lot of us collect them. Clearly, they’re considered antiques.
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Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
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Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
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Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first.
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Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
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I wonder if to stare into the face of God will drive me crazy. (I wonder who would blink first.)
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I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.
TIM ALLEN