In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
TIM ALLENThe ego is like a kid in the basement: It’s best to keep him busy.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we’re just the tallest people living here.
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The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas – where it’s a beautiful theater – is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.
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I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.
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My dad’s death reminds me of earthquakes – things that shake your foundation.
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I do a lot of family shows.
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Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.
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Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
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Men aren’t men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
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Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.
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I wonder if to stare into the face of God will drive me crazy. (I wonder who would blink first.)
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Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
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When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite.
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Real men don’t use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer’s opinion on how to put this together.
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Before Kady was born, I didn’t think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.
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I have a thing for tools.
TIM ALLEN