The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas – where it’s a beautiful theater – is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.
TIM ALLENMen are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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Never comment on a woman’s rear end. Never use the words ‘large’ or ‘size’ with ‘rear end’. Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.
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I’m sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults.
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Dog’s listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.
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Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
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When you’re 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.
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Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they’re going to respect Mom.
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I have always enjoyed do-it-yourself projects, .. Being in a position to actually help design and bring tools to market is an incredible opportunity. Being able to fund charities as a result is phenomenal.
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I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.
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In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
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Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
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Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
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Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.
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I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody’s car.
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
TIM ALLEN






