When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
STEVE MARTINA father carries pictures where his money used to be.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
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All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
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Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
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Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
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How many people have never raised their hand before?
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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Acting has helped me understand people, not only because you are acting as a character, but also because you are watching other actors work. That really helps you identify in life when someone is acting, not being true.
STEVE MARTIN