Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
STEVE MARTINYou know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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It’s pain that changes our lives.
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A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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No art comes from the conscious mind.
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I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
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Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
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I love money. I love everything about it.
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Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
STEVE MARTIN