First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
STEVE MARTINYou know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
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Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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You have to get comfortable with your work, you really have to know what you’re doing, and it has to be almost boring to you to be able to do it well.
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Acting has helped me understand people, not only because you are acting as a character, but also because you are watching other actors work. That really helps you identify in life when someone is acting, not being true.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
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The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
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I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.
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I love money. I love everything about it.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
STEVE MARTIN