I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
STEVE MARTINI have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
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No art comes from the conscious mind.
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I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
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I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.
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I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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You have to get comfortable with your work, you really have to know what you’re doing, and it has to be almost boring to you to be able to do it well.
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The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
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Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
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I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
STEVE MARTIN






