I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.
RON WHITEThe first thing I ever got my hands on was Andy Griffith’s ‘What It Was, Was Football.’ I was fascinated with the fact that every syllable made it funny, and I would laugh even though I didn’t know what any of it meant.
More Ron White Quotes
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I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.
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Comedy is all about the pause.
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Any time someone achieves success before they’ve earned it, it always comes back to haunt them.
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My show is more storytelling now than it’s ever been. It’s what I’m good at.
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You can’t fix stupid.
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I don’t do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil’s show. He’s a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn’t give me any advice. He doesn’t give solicited advice.
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I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, ‘I’m not even a 10th of this man.’
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I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn’t care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.
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I was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.
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If I see someone out there mouthing the words to a bit, I’m not having fun.
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The Majestic Theatre in San Antone is as good as it gets.
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Pace, rhythm and timing. Pace, rhythm and timing is what it’s about. The content’s got to be great, but then it’s got to be delivered. It’s a tricky thing to do, and it takes a lot of work.
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I’m definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won’t. Then three years later I will finally try it and it’ll kill them. I got to give them more credit.
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I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.
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I still love to walk on stage and make people laugh, and I work very, very hard at it, and I take it seriously.
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