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I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.

Ron White

The only thing I really worry about is my live stand-up show because I have to answer to the fans.
RON WHITE

Answer Fan Only Really Show Stand Think
When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable – onstage, talking, making ’em laugh and listen to the weirdest things. I liked being the center of attention.
RON WHITE

Around Comfortable Laugh Listen Make Onstage Story Talk Tell Twenty Unable
There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between.
RON WHITE

Across Bridge Build Comic Kinda One People Through Two Walk
My shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
RON WHITE

All Be Can Show Way
I want my fans to feel like we’re always in touch. Because without ’em, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this.
RON WHITE

Able Any Fan Feel Like Touch Want
I’m definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won’t. Then three years later I will finally try it and it’ll kill them. I got to give them more credit.
RON WHITE

Audience Definite Funny Guilt Kill Later Something Them Think Try
I always wanted to be a popular comedian.
RON WHITE

Always Comedian Popular Want
My life has been wild enough to derive all of the stories you need out of it. I’ve been through many, many years of behavioral problems, so I don’t really look outside for stories.
RON WHITE

Behaviour Derive Enough Life Many Need Out Probably Problem Story Wild Year
I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
RON WHITE

Born Day Eye Great Horse Life Mother Nice Wrong
I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.
RON WHITE

Advertise Before Club Comedy Go Rumour Sell Start Theater
We always go out looking for live music after our shows.
RON WHITE

After Always Go Live Look Music Out Show
I’d rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
RON WHITE

Big Good Part Rather Really
I do a lot of gay-friendly stuff in my show, and men, women, they all love it. I practice non-judgment in my daily life and hope other people do the same thing.
RON WHITE

Daily Friendly Gay Judgement Life Lot Love Men Practise Stuff
There’s no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don’t exist.
RON WHITE

Act Backlog Exist Fire People Reason
Any time someone achieves success before they’ve earned it, it always comes back to haunt them.
RON WHITE

Achieve Any Back Come Earn Haunt Someone Time
My uncle was a preacher, and I used to go watch him preach. He was also funny, so I’m very ‘preacher-ish’ on stage, not by intent but because that’s where I learned to talk in front of people.
RON WHITE

Funny Intent Preach Preacher Stage Uncle Use Watch

I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.

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I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.

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