black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.

Ron White

I was by far the least popular of the Blue Collar crew when we started. There was a definite pecking order, and everybody knew it.
RON WHITE

Blue Collar Crew Everybody Knew Least Order Pack Popular
A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.
RON WHITE

Cigar Cuban Giant Heaven Killer Restaurant Sanwick Simple
I loved listening to laughter even as a little kid.
RON WHITE

Even Kid Listen Little Love
I’ve been married a few times. I’m not good at it.
RON WHITE

Few Good Married Time
I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn’t care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.
RON WHITE

Care Good Idea Laugh Live Make Money Much People
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
RON WHITE

Believe Lemon Life Party Somebody Try
The Majestic Theatre in San Antone is as good as it gets.
RON WHITE

Country Good Majestic Theatre
I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.
RON WHITE

Mic Milker More Night Open
I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
RON WHITE

Chill Critical Keep Product Spaghetti
I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No matter who it offends, or who it bothers – doesn’t matter if its something my wife hates.
RON WHITE

Act Anything Bothe R Desperate Joke Material Offend Work Write
I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever – plumbers and drywall hangers.
RON WHITE

Doctor Drywall Get Hanger Lawyer Mall Over Plumber World
I always found that the closer I got to who I really am, on stage, the more they responded to it.
RON WHITE

Always Found Closer More Really Respond Stage
I do a lot of gay-friendly stuff in my show, and men, women, they all love it. I practice non-judgment in my daily life and hope other people do the same thing.
RON WHITE

Daily Friendly Gay Judgement Life Lot Love Men Practise Stuff
I have a very fun life. I don’t recommend it for anybody else, but it sure has been fun for me.
RON WHITE

Else Fun Life Recommend Sure Very
The next time you have a thought… let it go.
RON WHITE

Let Go Next Thought Time
I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.
RON WHITE

Ability Remain Right Silent

I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Ron White Quotes