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I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.

Ron White

There’s no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don’t exist.
RON WHITE

Act Backlog Exist Fire People Reason
My shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
RON WHITE

All Be Can Show Way
I always found that the closer I got to who I really am, on stage, the more they responded to it.
RON WHITE

Always Found Closer More Really Respond Stage
Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
RON WHITE

Day Doing Eighteen Fifteen Hour Movie Television Thing
That’s the beauty of being a straight-to-DVD star. It really helps you stay under the media’s radar.
RON WHITE

Beauty Being Help Media Radar Really Star Stay Straight Under
I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
RON WHITE

Born Day Eye Great Horse Life Mother Nice Wrong
There have been times when I played more than others, but I’ve been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I’ve always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill.
RON WHITE

Always Been Century Comic More Other Play Quater Time
Pace, rhythm and timing. Pace, rhythm and timing is what it’s about. The content’s got to be great, but then it’s got to be delivered. It’s a tricky thing to do, and it takes a lot of work.
RON WHITE

Content Deliver Face Pace People Rhythm Time
The next time you have a thought… let it go.
RON WHITE

Let Go Next Thought Time
Comedy is all about the pause.
RON WHITE

Al Comedy Pause
Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine’s putting in an express lane.
RON WHITE

Abolish Death Express Lane Mine Other Penalty Put State
I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
RON WHITE

Bad Believe Better Bowl Game Halftime Show Socer Super
I think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship.
RON WHITE

Come Communication Honest Matter Positive Relationship
I don’t like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that’s the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don’t do a ton of it.
RON WHITE

Famous Heard Made Material People Popular Stuff
Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won’t give my TV show. I put it in my live show.
RON WHITE

Anything Consider Live Quality Show Stage Television Work
There’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.
RON WHITE

Angel Attack Comedy Concert Idea Leave Punch Some

I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.

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I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.

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