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1. black
2. grey
3. blue
4. red
5. brown
6. white

You can’t fix stupid.

Ron White

Related Topics

FixStupid

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More Ron White Quotes

• 

  I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.

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• 

  The next time you have a thought… let it go.

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• 

  I’ve got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct called ‘Jayne Mansfield’s Car.’ I only have four scenes, but I have as much dialogue as anybody in the movie.

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• 

  I consider it an honor and a privilege to give back however I can for the many sacrifices of these incredibly brave men and women.

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• 

  Somebody the other day had a review, called me ‘America’s reprobate.’ And I don’t even know what that means, but I kinda like the way it sounds.

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• 

  I don’t like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that’s the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don’t do a ton of it.

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• 

  I don’t think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.

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• 

  I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.

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• 

  I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.

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• 

  I want my fans to feel like we’re always in touch. Because without ’em, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this.

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  AbleAnyFanFeelLikeTouchWant
• 

  The bulk of my fans are my age, and I’m aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it’s addicting, really.

  RON WHITE
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• 

  But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It’s like anything else. It’s a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.

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  ExerciseExposureHarderLikeMoreMuchMuscleWorkWriter
• 

  You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.

  RON WHITE
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• 

  I don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.

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• 

  Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine’s putting in an express lane.

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  AbolishDeathExpressLaneMineOtherPenaltyPutState
• 

  As long as I stay engaged with everybody else, then I’ll create more comedy. It’s just when I shut off and stay at home… What helps me is just to keep moving.

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