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1. black
2. grey
3. blue
4. red
5. brown
6. white

You can’t fix stupid.

Ron White

Related Topics

FixStupid

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More Ron White Quotes

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  I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.

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  I write all of my material. It’s all me.

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  The only way to stay sharp is to do live shows. There is no part-time comedy.

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  I was by far the least popular of the Blue Collar crew when we started. There was a definite pecking order, and everybody knew it.

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• 

  I don’t have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I’m going to keep talking. I can’t imagine a life without doing standup.

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• 

  I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He’s probably the best comedian who ever lived. Although you can’t say that because of Carlin, Cosby and Pryor.

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• 

  I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

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• 

  I don’t think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.

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• 

  My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.

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• 

  Any time someone achieves success before they’ve earned it, it always comes back to haunt them.

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• 

  That’s the beauty of being a straight-to-DVD star. It really helps you stay under the media’s radar.

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• 

  We always go out looking for live music after our shows.

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• 

  My shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.

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• 

  I was always a funny guy. I don’t think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn’t a funny guy when they were young.

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• 

  I was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.

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• 

  People, when they go on stage, tend to be animated and try to force things out instead of relaxing and bringing it in.

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