People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
RON WHITEYou can’t fix stupid.
More Ron White Quotes
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Ultimately I’m the writer for me, but also, anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me, and I’m pretty good at helping them get there.
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I was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.
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There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
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You can tell on-stage when a joke’s starting to lose its pop. It doesn’t mean people don’t want to hear it anymore; it means I don’t want to do it anymore. Because I want to move on to something that has a knee-jerk reaction just like you get when you tell somebody a joke that they’ve never heard.
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Comedy is great because there’s no overhead.
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I’ve got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct called ‘Jayne Mansfield’s Car.’ I only have four scenes, but I have as much dialogue as anybody in the movie.
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I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that’s all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.
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Pace, rhythm and timing. Pace, rhythm and timing is what it’s about. The content’s got to be great, but then it’s got to be delivered. It’s a tricky thing to do, and it takes a lot of work.
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I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.
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I want my fans to feel like we’re always in touch. Because without ’em, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this.
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Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine’s putting in an express lane.
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The Majestic Theatre in San Antone is as good as it gets.
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But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It’s like anything else. It’s a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.
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I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.
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I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
RON WHITE