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You can’t fix stupid.

Ron White

Related Topics

FixStupid

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More Ron White Quotes

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  I’ve got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct called ‘Jayne Mansfield’s Car.’ I only have four scenes, but I have as much dialogue as anybody in the movie.

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• 

  My life has been wild enough to derive all of the stories you need out of it. I’ve been through many, many years of behavioral problems, so I don’t really look outside for stories.

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• 

  The Majestic Theatre in San Antone is as good as it gets.

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• 

  That’s the beauty of being a straight-to-DVD star. It really helps you stay under the media’s radar.

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  BeautyBeingHelpMediaRadarReallyStarStayStraightUnder
• 

  I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.

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  BegComedianFamousMoreTendUniverse
• 

  People, when they go on stage, tend to be animated and try to force things out instead of relaxing and bringing it in.

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• 

  Pace, rhythm and timing. Pace, rhythm and timing is what it’s about. The content’s got to be great, but then it’s got to be delivered. It’s a tricky thing to do, and it takes a lot of work.

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• 

  My show is more storytelling now than it’s ever been. It’s what I’m good at.

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  BeemEverGoodMoreShowStorytelling
• 

  All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.

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• 

  I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.

  RON WHITE
  AdvertiseBeforeClubComedyGoRumourSellStartTheater
• 

  I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.

  RON WHITE
  ContinuityFigureJokeLittleOlderShowStoryTime
• 

  The only thing I really worry about is my live stand-up show because I have to answer to the fans.

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• 

  Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won’t give my TV show. I put it in my live show.

  RON WHITE
  AnythingConsiderLiveQualityShowStageTelevisionWork
• 

  I don’t like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that’s the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don’t do a ton of it.

  RON WHITE
  FamousHeardMadeMaterialPeoplePopularStuff
• 

  Donald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.

  RON WHITE
  BitBuildCouldCountryGoodIdeaPeoplePresidentSingleTunnel
• 

  I do a lot of gay-friendly stuff in my show, and men, women, they all love it. I practice non-judgment in my daily life and hope other people do the same thing.

  RON WHITE
  DailyFriendlyGayJudgementLifeLotLoveMenPractiseStuff