Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.
RON WHITEYou can’t fix stupid.
More Ron White Quotes
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It never dawned on me that I had the option of becoming a comedian. I come from a little dirt street town in northwest Texas, and they really don’t talk about the arts there much on career day.
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We always go out looking for live music after our shows.
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As long as I stay engaged with everybody else, then I’ll create more comedy. It’s just when I shut off and stay at home… What helps me is just to keep moving.
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You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
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I’m not willing to drag my fans down a road I don’t believe in. That’s just my one little principle. I’ve only got one, and that’s it.
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I still love to walk on stage and make people laugh, and I work very, very hard at it, and I take it seriously.
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That’s the beauty of being a straight-to-DVD star. It really helps you stay under the media’s radar.
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I think the world has their own good, clean, Christian comedy. They don’t need my help.
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The only thing I really worry about is my live stand-up show because I have to answer to the fans.
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I’m set up where I make a lot of money doing stand-up, and it’s easy.
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I don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
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But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It’s like anything else. It’s a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.
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The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.
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There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
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My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.
RON WHITE