I always wanted to be a popular comedian.
RON WHITEI’d rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
More Ron White Quotes
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There have been times in my life that I’ve had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
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My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
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I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.
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My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
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Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
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There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
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The next time you have a thought… let it go.
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I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
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There’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.
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As long as I stay engaged with everybody else, then I’ll create more comedy. It’s just when I shut off and stay at home… What helps me is just to keep moving.
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A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.
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I’ve got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct called ‘Jayne Mansfield’s Car.’ I only have four scenes, but I have as much dialogue as anybody in the movie.
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Think of The Rontourage as the Ron White Channel, where you can see us getting into trouble in all kinds of different places.
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You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
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I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No matter who it offends, or who it bothers – doesn’t matter if its something my wife hates.
RON WHITE