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You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.

Ron White

My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.
RON WHITE

Act Always Big Crowd Do Easy Open Strong To
If you become famous and don’t have a live show to back it up, they’re not going to pay you any money.
RON WHITE

Any Back Become Famous Go Money Pay Show
Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won’t give my TV show. I put it in my live show.
RON WHITE

Anything Consider Live Quality Show Stage Television Work
I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.
RON WHITE

Mic Milker More Night Open
I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.
RON WHITE

Ability Remain Right Silent
You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.
RON WHITE

Album Done First Now Some Throw Out Twelve Year
Everybody I know is a joke writer.
RON WHITE

Everybody Joke Know Writer
I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
RON WHITE

Beat People Plumber Rather Would
I do a lot of gay-friendly stuff in my show, and men, women, they all love it. I practice non-judgment in my daily life and hope other people do the same thing.
RON WHITE

Daily Friendly Gay Judgement Life Lot Love Men Practise Stuff
I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
RON WHITE

Continuity Figure Joke Little Older Show Story Time
I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever – plumbers and drywall hangers.
RON WHITE

Doctor Drywall Get Hanger Lawyer Mall Over Plumber World
If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
RON WHITE

Come Country Down Gulf Joke Out Pollute Rite
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
RON WHITE

Believe Lemon Life Party Somebody Try
The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.
RON WHITE

Another Attention Brain Deficit Disability Disorder Information Learn Mean Odd Proces Quite Way
I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
RON WHITE

Feel Get Today Tomorrow Worry
I loved listening to laughter even as a little kid.
RON WHITE

Even Kid Listen Little Love

You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.

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You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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