Donald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.
RON WHITEYou know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.
More Ron White Quotes
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I was always a funny guy. I don’t think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn’t a funny guy when they were young.
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If you become famous and don’t have a live show to back it up, they’re not going to pay you any money.
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I was by far the least popular of the Blue Collar crew when we started. There was a definite pecking order, and everybody knew it.
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I still love to walk on stage and make people laugh, and I work very, very hard at it, and I take it seriously.
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I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
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People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
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Everybody I know is a joke writer.
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I loved listening to laughter even as a little kid.
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There have been times when I played more than others, but I’ve been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I’ve always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill.
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It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.
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I’ve been married a few times. I’m not good at it.
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Comedy is great because there’s no overhead.
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Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won’t give my TV show. I put it in my live show.
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Ultimately I’m the writer for me, but also, anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me, and I’m pretty good at helping them get there.
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I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.
RON WHITE