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My life has been wild enough to derive all of the stories you need out of it. I’ve been through many, many years of behavioral problems, so I don’t really look outside for stories.

Ron White

I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
RON WHITE

Beat People Plumber Rather Would
I was always a funny guy. I don’t think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn’t a funny guy when they were young.
RON WHITE

Always Anybody Funny Guy Make Stand Young
My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.
RON WHITE

Biggest Cable Comedian Criticise Guy Other Peeve Pet
I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
RON WHITE

Bad Believe Better Bowl Game Halftime Show Socer Super
I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No matter who it offends, or who it bothers – doesn’t matter if its something my wife hates.
RON WHITE

Act Anything Bothe R Desperate Joke Material Offend Work Write
If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
RON WHITE

Come Country Down Gulf Joke Out Pollute Rite
When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable – onstage, talking, making ’em laugh and listen to the weirdest things. I liked being the center of attention.
RON WHITE

Around Comfortable Laugh Listen Make Onstage Story Talk Tell Twenty Unable
I always found that the closer I got to who I really am, on stage, the more they responded to it.
RON WHITE

Always Found Closer More Really Respond Stage
It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.
RON WHITE

All Record Country Flip Had People Went
Think of The Rontourage as the Ron White Channel, where you can see us getting into trouble in all kinds of different places.
RON WHITE

Channel Country Different Get People Place Think Trouble
A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.
RON WHITE

Cigar Cuban Giant Heaven Killer Restaurant Sanwick Simple
I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.
RON WHITE

Mic Milker More Night Open
I do live like a rock star, but it’s not as great as it sounds. It’s a lot of traveling.
RON WHITE

Great Live Lot Rock Sound Star Travel
Here’s how I operate. When I see something I like, 20 years later, I ask her brother for her phone number. She don’t even see me coming.
RON WHITE

Brother Come Later Number Operate Phone See Something
I’ve got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct called ‘Jayne Mansfield’s Car.’ I only have four scenes, but I have as much dialogue as anybody in the movie.
RON WHITE

Call Direct Go Movie New Only People Role Wrote
I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He’s probably the best comedian who ever lived. Although you can’t say that because of Carlin, Cosby and Pryor.
RON WHITE

Best Comedian Dies Ever Listen More Old Realy Understood

My life has been wild enough to derive all of the stories you need out of it. I’ve been through many, many years of behavioral problems, so I don’t really look outside for stories.

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My life has been wild enough to derive all of the stories you need out of it. I’ve been through many, many years of behavioral problems, so I don’t really look outside for stories.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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