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I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.

Ron White

Ultimately I’m the writer for me, but also, anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me, and I’m pretty good at helping them get there.
RON WHITE

Anytime Bit Fan Friend Get Good Help Pretty Riter Ultimately
I think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship.
RON WHITE

Come Communication Honest Matter Positive Relationship
I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.
RON WHITE

Ability Remain Right Silent
If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it’s being true to their nature… that’s what takes a long time to learn.
RON WHITE

Big Comic Common Denominator Long Look Nature Success True
There have been times when I played more than others, but I’ve been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I’ve always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill.
RON WHITE

Always Been Century Comic More Other Play Quater Time
I’m definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won’t. Then three years later I will finally try it and it’ll kill them. I got to give them more credit.
RON WHITE

Audience Definite Funny Guilt Kill Later Something Them Think Try
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
RON WHITE

Believe Lemon Life Party Somebody Try
A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.
RON WHITE

Cigar Cuban Giant Heaven Killer Restaurant Sanwick Simple
I loved listening to laughter even as a little kid.
RON WHITE

Even Kid Listen Little Love
If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
RON WHITE

Come Country Down Gulf Joke Out Pollute Rite
I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.
RON WHITE

Cigar Collection Go Great Imply Last Smoke
There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
RON WHITE

Actual Beer Diet Drink Fat Guy Real Scotch Tequila Year
Think of The Rontourage as the Ron White Channel, where you can see us getting into trouble in all kinds of different places.
RON WHITE

Channel Country Different Get People Place Think Trouble
If I’m not in the theatre, I’m in an open mic night or doing a guest set at the Comedy Club, or whatever, just trying to develop stuff.
RON WHITE

Club Comedy Devote Doing Guest Mic Open Stuff Theatre Try
There’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.
RON WHITE

Angel Attack Comedy Concert Idea Leave Punch Some
I don’t watch Comedy Central. I don’t enjoy it.
RON WHITE

Central Comedy Enjoy Watch

I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.

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I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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