My goal is just to become a better comedian.
RON WHITEI was always a funny guy. I don’t think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn’t a funny guy when they were young.
More Ron White Quotes
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My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.
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My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
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Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won’t give my TV show. I put it in my live show.
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There’s no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don’t exist.
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You can’t fix stupid.
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I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.
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My show is more storytelling now than it’s ever been. It’s what I’m good at.
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I don’t like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that’s the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don’t do a ton of it.
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Somebody the other day had a review, called me ‘America’s reprobate.’ And I don’t even know what that means, but I kinda like the way it sounds.
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If you watch the ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour,’ don’t expect that when you come see me by myself, ’cause it’s a little rougher.
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Here’s how I operate. When I see something I like, 20 years later, I ask her brother for her phone number. She don’t even see me coming.
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Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible.
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I don’t have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I’m going to keep talking. I can’t imagine a life without doing standup.
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I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.
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I want my fans to feel like we’re always in touch. Because without ’em, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this.
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