Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
RON WHITEDiamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!
More Ron White Quotes
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Everybody I know is a joke writer.
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I do live like a rock star, but it’s not as great as it sounds. It’s a lot of traveling.
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People, when they go on stage, tend to be animated and try to force things out instead of relaxing and bringing it in.
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I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.
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I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.
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I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
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I don’t like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that’s the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don’t do a ton of it.
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My life has been wild enough to derive all of the stories you need out of it. I’ve been through many, many years of behavioral problems, so I don’t really look outside for stories.
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You can’t fix stupid.
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A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.
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There have been times in my life that I’ve had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
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I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
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I was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.
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There’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.
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You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.
RON WHITE