I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
RON WHITEI loved listening to laughter even as a little kid.
More Ron White Quotes
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I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.
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I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
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I’m not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If you try to buy early, you’ll pay late.
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Here’s how I operate. When I see something I like, 20 years later, I ask her brother for her phone number. She don’t even see me coming.
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I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.
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I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
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I think the world has their own good, clean, Christian comedy. They don’t need my help.
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When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable – onstage, talking, making ’em laugh and listen to the weirdest things. I liked being the center of attention.
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My shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
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If you watch the ‘Blue Collar Comedy Tour,’ don’t expect that when you come see me by myself, ’cause it’s a little rougher.
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There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between.
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I write all of my material. It’s all me.
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I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
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I don’t have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I’m going to keep talking. I can’t imagine a life without doing standup.
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I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, ‘I’m not even a 10th of this man.’
RON WHITE