After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car.
ROBIN WILLIAMSGolf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.
More Robin Williams Quotes
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You’re best when you’re not in charge. The ego locks the muse.
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You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.
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My favorite thing to do is ride a bicycle. I ride road bikes. And for me, it’s mobile meditation.
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The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, ‘Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.’ She’s got a baseball bat and yelling, You want a piece of me?
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Comedy is acting out optimism.
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You need a touch of madness, just enough that you don’t become stupid!
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Don’t mess with me, man, I’m a lawyer!
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Poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.
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She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other.
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But only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus and always thus will be.
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Self-reliance is the key to a vigorous life. A man must look inward to find his own answers.
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When in doubt, go for the dick joke.
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Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party.
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Sometimes the mask we wear is simply just a smile.
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Our job is improving the quality of life, not just delaying death.
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The human body was designed by a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?
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The human spirit is more powerful than any drug – and that is what needs to be nourished: with work, play, friendship, family. These are the things that matter.
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Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.
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I was an only child. I did have kind of like a lonely existence.
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All you have to do is think one happy thought, and you’ll fly like me.
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You have to break in half to love somebody.
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Even mistakes can be wonderful.
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Reality: What a concept!
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People say satire is dead. It’s not dead; it’s alive and living in the White House.
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Anything that is not funny at a certain point will be funny.
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Gentlemen, haven’t we learned anything from the music of John Lennon? All we need is love.
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