Being a functioning alcoholic is kind of like being a paraplegic lap dancer: You can do it, just not as well as the others, really.
ROBIN WILLIAMSGolf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.
More Robin Williams Quotes
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Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
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There are no rules. Just follow your heart.
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Compassionate conservative. I don’t know what that is, it sounds like a Volvo with a gun rack.
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If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
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She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other.
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Most of all, I want to thank my father, up there, the man who when I said I wanted to be an actor, he said, ‘Wonderful. Just have a back-up profession like welding.’
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Reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.
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Our job is improving the quality of life, not just delaying death.
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If heaven exists, to know that there’s laughs, that would be a great thing.
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To be free. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world.
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The truth is, if anything, I’m probably addicted to laughter.
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Self-reliance is the key to a vigorous life. A man must look inward to find his own answers.
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A human life is just a heartbeat in heaven.
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Don’t mess with me, man, I’m a lawyer!
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I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.
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