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Sometimes you can have a whole lifetime in a day and never notice that this is a beautiful as it gets.

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Beautiful Lifetime Notice

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Being a functioning alcoholic is kind of like being a paraplegic lap dancer: You can do it, just not as well as the others, really.
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Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures.
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Sucking the marrow out of life doesn’t mean choking on the bone.
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Self-reliance is the key to a vigorous life. A man must look inward to find his own answers.
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You’re best when you’re not in charge. The ego locks the muse.
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Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.
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Gentlemen, haven’t we learned anything from the music of John Lennon? All we need is love.
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I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund.
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People say satire is dead. It’s not dead; it’s alive and living in the White House.
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Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.
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Poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.
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I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.
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I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.
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If women ran the world, we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
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You treat a disease, you win, you lose. You treat a person, I guarantee you, you’ll win, no matter what the outcome.
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Seize the day. Make your life extraordinary.
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