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I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund.

Robin Williams

She is not perfect. You are not perfect. The question is whether or not you are perfect for each other.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Couple Each Other Perfection Relationship She
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Divorce Humour Man Wallet
I try to make sense of things. Which is why, I guess, I believe in destiny. There must be a reason that I am as I am. There must be.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Be Yourself Believe Destiny Reason Sense Try
We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Human Member Poetry Race Reading Writing
I wonder what chairs think about all day: “Oh, here comes another asshole
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Asshole Chair Funny Thinking
You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Difference Divorce Funny Trailor
Change is not popular; we are creatures of habit as human beings. ‘I want it to be the way it was.’ But if you continue the way it was there will be no ‘is.’
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Change Creature Habit Human Popular Want
Golf is a game where white men can dress up as black pimps and get away with it.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Dress Game Golf Men Sports
The truth is, if anything, I’m probably addicted to laughter.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Addiction Laughter Probable Truth
Our job is improving the quality of life, not just delaying death.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Death Delay Improvement Job Life Quality
When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Care Charm Connection Funny Learning Mother
A human life is just a heartbeat in heaven.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Heartbeat Heaven Human Life Positive
Boys, you must strive to find your own voice, because the longer you wait to begin the less likely you are to find it at all.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Beginning Boy Finding Strive Voice
Anything that is not funny at a certain point will be funny.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Certain Comedy Funny
Don’t mess with me, man, I’m a lawyer!
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Lawyer Man Mess
Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Ability Acting Character Person

I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund.

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I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund.

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