In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
NORM MACDONALDMost men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
NORM MACDONALD