A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
NORM MACDONALDAll my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
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You can’t love your team without hating another team.
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
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The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
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As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
NORM MACDONALD