Few people love with the violence they hate.
NORM MACDONALDAll my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
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Envy, like a false mirror, distorts the symmetry of the sweetest form.
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Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
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All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
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Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
NORM MACDONALD