I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
NORM MACDONALDInstead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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There are two indiscretions that generally distinguish fools: a readiness to report whatever they hear, and a practice of communicating with secrecy what is commonly understood.
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The joy a person is usually seen to express at the conversion of another to his opinion is seldom more than the impulse of egotistical satisfaction at being considered worthy of didactic imitation.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
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Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
NORM MACDONALD