Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
NORM MACDONALDInstead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Many frequently change their principles, but seldom their practices.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin’ life again? Man, that’s rough, eh?
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
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Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.
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The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
NORM MACDONALD