Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
NORM MACDONALDI don’t have any ambition.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
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Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
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A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
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Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
NORM MACDONALD