Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
NORM MACDONALDI don’t have any ambition.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
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The praise we seek for our own virtues sometimes tempts us to flatter the imperfections of other men.
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The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
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Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
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A suspicious person is the rival of him that deceives, both seem to practice a knowledge of cunning device, and equable sense of disengenuous merit.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
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Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
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He that searches for praise will often find contempt.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
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A lot of writers come from Harvard and such, and are rich, and they write under the misapprehension that poor people are stupid. So when they do write them, they are hillbillies or rednecks or Christian idiots.
NORM MACDONALD