Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
NORM MACDONALDSome men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
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Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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Though you may be last to discover your follies, be always first to correct them.
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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
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A great cause of evil in the world is that men seldom think themselves criminal if they offer the same injustice to others that has been successfully practiced on themselves.
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Instead of loving your enemies, have no enemies to love.
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I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.
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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
NORM MACDONALD