Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
NORM MACDONALDNote to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.
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In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
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Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
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Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
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They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation, that they are fated also to be ignorant of it.
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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
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All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
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Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
NORM MACDONALD