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The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.

Lily Tomlin

I wanted to be a stage actress. I wanted to be a New York actress and have a community with other actors. I didn’t want to get famous; I always thought getting famous was a drag on you.
LILY TOMLIN

Actor Community Famous Myself Stage Yourself
When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis!
LILY TOMLIN

God Ourselves Prayer Talk
You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what’s current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.
LILY TOMLIN

Funny Hard Interest Talk Yourself
I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won’t.
LILY TOMLIN

Beautiful Life Myself Pervert Thinking
I feel some part of me can wake up and be very existential and the next day wake up and be sort of in love with the universe.
LILY TOMLIN

Existence Feeling Love Universe Wake Up
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
LILY TOMLIN

Beautiful Funny Hairs Library Truth
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
LILY TOMLIN

Myself Success World Worry
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
LILY TOMLIN

Believe Freedom Hands Man Reason Sex Walk
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
LILY TOMLIN

Collection One Liner Perspective Reality
The larger picture is really to swing people’s awareness of what really is moral.
LILY TOMLIN

Moral People Photograph
Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that’s the truth.
LILY TOMLIN

Lying Make Up True Yourself
Don’t be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
LILY TOMLIN

Afraid Failure Inspirational Missing Opportunity
People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.
LILY TOMLIN

Acceptance Creation Kind Myself People
We are all in this together, by ourselves.
LILY TOMLIN

Ourselves Togetherness
There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
LILY TOMLIN

Death Feeling Sex
Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
LILY TOMLIN

Form Intelligence Life Universe Yourself

The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.

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The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.

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Popular Authors

More Lily Tomlin Quotes