I wanted to be a stage actress. I wanted to be a New York actress and have a community with other actors. I didn’t want to get famous; I always thought getting famous was a drag on you.
LILY TOMLINThe phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis!
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You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what’s current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.
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I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won’t.
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I feel some part of me can wake up and be very existential and the next day wake up and be sort of in love with the universe.
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If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
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Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
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We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
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Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
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The larger picture is really to swing people’s awareness of what really is moral.
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Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that’s the truth.
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Don’t be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
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People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.
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We are all in this together, by ourselves.
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There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
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Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
LILY TOMLIN