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The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.

Lily Tomlin

If you have a dog or a cat, you know how developed they can be. How sensitive, how aware. They suffer. We all do.
LILY TOMLIN

Cat Development Dog Sensitive Suffering Yourself
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
LILY TOMLIN

Myself Success World Worry
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
LILY TOMLIN

Believe Freedom Hands Man Reason Sex Walk
If evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
LILY TOMLIN

Better Creature Death Evolution Laughter Survive Worth
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
LILY TOMLIN

Beautiful Funny Hairs Library Truth
You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what’s current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.
LILY TOMLIN

Funny Hard Interest Talk Yourself
For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
LILY TOMLIN

Down Fast relief Slow Try
My politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them.
LILY TOMLIN

Education Empathy Growth Human Kind Myself Politics Religion
Having a real public outlet is how you imprint something for yourself. It’s just a matter of timing. It’s like you’ve marked your territory.
LILY TOMLIN

Place Public Reality Time Yourself
What goes up must come down. But don’t expect it to come down where you can find it.
LILY TOMLIN

Expectation Philosophy Yourself
Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain.
LILY TOMLIN

Complain Human Invention Language
I guess if people couldn’t profit from war I don’t think there would be war.
LILY TOMLIN

Myself People Profit Thinking War
In the depths of the night, fear grips my heart. It paralyzes my mind. But most of all, I feel very, very alone
LILY TOMLIN

Alone Feeling Heart Mindset Myself Night
After all, in private, we’re all misfits.
LILY TOMLIN

One Liner Privacy
Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
LILY TOMLIN

Leadership Reality Touch
I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves; I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.
LILY TOMLIN

Collection Conscious Feeling Humor Vehicle Wonderful

The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.

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The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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