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The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.

Lily Tomlin

When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.
LILY TOMLIN

Better Cry Feeling Happiness Laughter Price Sad
If you can’t be direct, why be?
LILY TOMLIN

Direct Yourself
I feel some part of me can wake up and be very existential and the next day wake up and be sort of in love with the universe.
LILY TOMLIN

Existence Feeling Love Universe Wake Up
I try to be cynical, but it’s so hard to keep up.
LILY TOMLIN

Hard Myself Try
Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.
LILY TOMLIN

Alcohol Control Drugs Exercise People
The best mind-altering drug is the truth.
LILY TOMLIN

Best Drugs Mindset One Liner Truth
Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it’s imposssible to keep up.
LILY TOMLIN

Impossible Myself News Reading
Having a real public outlet is how you imprint something for yourself. It’s just a matter of timing. It’s like you’ve marked your territory.
LILY TOMLIN

Place Public Reality Time Yourself
I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves; I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.
LILY TOMLIN

Collection Conscious Feeling Humor Vehicle Wonderful
I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
LILY TOMLIN

Myself Thinking Worry
I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.
LILY TOMLIN

Complain Deep Development Language Need Personal
If you have a dog or a cat, you know how developed they can be. How sensitive, how aware. They suffer. We all do.
LILY TOMLIN

Cat Development Dog Sensitive Suffering Yourself
The road to success is always under construction.
LILY TOMLIN

Construction Inspirational Road Success
I still believe that sex is dirty. It’s just that now I wouldn’t have it any other way.
LILY TOMLIN

Believe Dirty Myself Sex
We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.
LILY TOMLIN

Care Company Phone
Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
LILY TOMLIN

Feeling Imagination Myself

The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.

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The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.

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Popular Authors

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