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The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.

Lily Tomlin

Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.
LILY TOMLIN

Alcohol Control Drugs Exercise People
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
LILY TOMLIN

Love Question Yourself
Truth is, I’ve always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.
LILY TOMLIN

Difference Integrity Myself Past Truth
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
LILY TOMLIN

Believe Freedom Hands Man Reason Sex Walk
Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.
LILY TOMLIN

Help Myself Thinking Trouble Worst
For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
LILY TOMLIN

Down Fast relief Slow Try
Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
LILY TOMLIN

Leadership Reality Touch
But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money.
LILY TOMLIN

Cost Live Money People Reason
When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis!
LILY TOMLIN

God Ourselves Prayer Talk
If I had known what it would be like to have it all – I might have been willing to settle for less.
LILY TOMLIN

Fame Myself Settle Willing
You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what’s current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.
LILY TOMLIN

Funny Hard Interest Talk Yourself
What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.
LILY TOMLIN

Audience Brain Knowledge Myself Praise Thinking
If life is so meaningless, then why are we always bringing it up?
LILY TOMLIN

Hypocrisy Life Meaning
I guess if people couldn’t profit from war I don’t think there would be war.
LILY TOMLIN

Myself People Profit Thinking War
There’s nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, ‘I didn’t do it right’.
LILY TOMLIN

End Life Regret Right Sad Yourself
Don’t be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
LILY TOMLIN

Afraid Failure Inspirational Missing Opportunity

The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.

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The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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