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Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that’s the truth.

Lily Tomlin

There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
LILY TOMLIN

Death Feeling Sex
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
LILY TOMLIN

Believe Freedom Hands Man Reason Sex Walk
Remember we’re all in this alone.
LILY TOMLIN

Alone One Liner Remember
Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
LILY TOMLIN

Form Intelligence Life Universe Yourself
If evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
LILY TOMLIN

Better Creature Death Evolution Laughter Survive Worth
Even when I’m being funny, I’m deadly serious.
LILY TOMLIN

Death Funny Myself Serious
You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what’s current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.
LILY TOMLIN

Funny Hard Interest Talk Yourself
When I’ve had a meltdown, people will say to me, “Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor.”
LILY TOMLIN

Failure Humor Myself People Talk Yourself
We are all in this together, by ourselves.
LILY TOMLIN

Ourselves Togetherness
But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money.
LILY TOMLIN

Cost Live Money People Reason
The road to success is always under construction.
LILY TOMLIN

Construction Inspirational Road Success
Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
LILY TOMLIN

Adult Country Election Hard Work
People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.
LILY TOMLIN

Acceptance Creation Kind Myself People
Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself.
LILY TOMLIN

History Listening People Repeat Start Stop
I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won’t.
LILY TOMLIN

Beautiful Life Myself Pervert Thinking
I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves; I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.
LILY TOMLIN

Collection Conscious Feeling Humor Vehicle Wonderful

Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that’s the truth.

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Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that’s the truth.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Lily Tomlin Quotes