I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
LILY TOMLINIf evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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What goes up must come down. But don’t expect it to come down where you can find it.
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Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
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If you have a dog or a cat, you know how developed they can be. How sensitive, how aware. They suffer. We all do.
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We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles.
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There’s nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, ‘I didn’t do it right’.
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If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
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To me, “sexual freedom” means freedom from having to have sex.
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I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
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In the depths of the night, fear grips my heart. It paralyzes my mind. But most of all, I feel very, very alone
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Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
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Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain.
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But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money.
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If trying harder doesn’t work, try softer.
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If you can’t be direct, why be?
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When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.
LILY TOMLIN