After all, in private, we’re all misfits.
LILY TOMLINIf evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
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Even when I’m being funny, I’m deadly serious.
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People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.
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Wouldn’t it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen, and ballerinas.
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Having a real public outlet is how you imprint something for yourself. It’s just a matter of timing. It’s like you’ve marked your territory.
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In the depths of the night, fear grips my heart. It paralyzes my mind. But most of all, I feel very, very alone
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Remember we’re all in this alone.
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For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
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When I’ve had a meltdown, people will say to me, “Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor.”
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Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it’s imposssible to keep up.
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I wanted to be a stage actress. I wanted to be a New York actress and have a community with other actors. I didn’t want to get famous; I always thought getting famous was a drag on you.
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Truth is, I’ve always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.
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If evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
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Don’t be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
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We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
LILY TOMLIN