Even when I’m being funny, I’m deadly serious.
LILY TOMLINIf love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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You are what you think, geez, that’s frightening.
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Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
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I was always drawn to more the social-expression-of-culture types.
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We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles.
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Remember we’re all in this alone.
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Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.
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When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.
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When I’ve had a meltdown, people will say to me, “Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor.”
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If trying harder doesn’t work, try softer.
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We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
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I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.
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There’s so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
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If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
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We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.
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9 to 5 made people aware of equal pay for equal work. It hasn’t really happened, but it has come closer.
LILY TOMLIN