Let’s all start walking more and driving less.
LEWIS GRIZZARDThere’s nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
More Lewis Grizzard Quotes
-
-
Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
I’d much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
I finally figured it out, I finally figured out how to find some peace and happiness. I sure would hate for the man upstairs to take me now. But at least I did figure it out.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
When My Love Returns from the Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old to Care?
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Sex hasn’t been the same since women started enjoying it.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, ‘What’s in it for me?’
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Spring time is the land awakening.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Baptists never make love standing up. They’re afraid someone might see them and think they’re dancing.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.
LEWIS GRIZZARD