Sex hasn’t been the same since women started enjoying it.
LEWIS GRIZZARDWhen My Love Returns from the Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old to Care?
More Lewis Grizzard Quotes
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Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Spring time is the land awakening.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Baptists never make love standing up. They’re afraid someone might see them and think they’re dancing.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
I’d much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Elvis is dead and I don’t feel so good for myself.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Money doesn’t grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Let’s all start walking more and driving less.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
There’s no such thing as being too Southern.
LEWIS GRIZZARD