She doesn’t understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
JOAN RIVERSI’m in nobody’s circle, I’ve always been an outsider.
More Joan Rivers Quotes
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Life is a movie, and you’re the star. Give it a happy ending.
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Happiness, at my age, is breathing
JOAN RIVERS -
On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.
JOAN RIVERS -
Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
JOAN RIVERS -
On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.
JOAN RIVERS -
Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say ‘My wife makes a delicious cake’ to some hooker?
JOAN RIVERS -
I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, ‘Get the hell off my property.’
JOAN RIVERS -
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
JOAN RIVERS -
Life goes by fast. Enjoy it…Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
JOAN RIVERS -
Here’s a Thanksgiving tip. Generally, your turkey is not cooked enough if it passes you the cranberry sauce.
JOAN RIVERS -
The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are ‘age appropriate.’ For me that would be a shroud.
JOAN RIVERS -
Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
JOAN RIVERS -
You know you’re getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.
JOAN RIVERS -
Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
JOAN RIVERS -
On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.
JOAN RIVERS






