Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say ‘My wife makes a delicious cake’ to some hooker?
JOAN RIVERSA man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she’s a tramp.
More Joan Rivers Quotes
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I’m in nobody’s circle, I’ve always been an outsider.
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I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, “pick up, I know you’re there.”
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Florida wants to change the state’s motto to attract younger people. They’re thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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The last time I saw a blonde with red streaks in her hair she was laying on Oscar Pistorius’ bathroom floor.
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When you first get married, they open the car door for you. Eighteen years now…once he opened the car door for me in the last four years – we were on the freeway at the time.
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Women should look good. Work on yourselves. Education? I spit on education. No man is ever going to put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.
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We all mourn in our own way. I mourn with a great steak.
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Old age is always ten years more than we are.
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The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are ‘age appropriate.’ For me that would be a shroud.
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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it…Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
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Here’s a Thanksgiving tip. Generally, your turkey is not cooked enough if it passes you the cranberry sauce.
JOAN RIVERS