Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
JOAN RIVERSNothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it’s happening.
More Joan Rivers Quotes
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
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You have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
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Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.
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Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say ‘My wife makes a delicious cake’ to some hooker?
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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don’t care if it’s good things or bad things. That means you’re alive.
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I’m in nobody’s circle, I’ve always been an outsider.
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Thank God we’re living in a country where the sky’s the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
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If God wanted us to bend over he’d put diamonds on the floor.
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, “Marry him, you’ll double your wardrobe.”
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If you don’t want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.
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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
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Edgar had a heart attack, and I’m to blame. We were making love, and I took the bag off my head.
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I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn’t get better. You get better.
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My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, “pick up, I know you’re there.”
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It’s all funny.
JOAN RIVERS