If you are building a culture where honest expectations are communicated and peer accountability is the norm, then the group will address poor performance and attitudes.
HENRY CLOUDIf your boundary training consists only of words, you are wasting your breath. But if you ‘do’ boundaries with your kids, they internalize the experiences, remember them, digest them, and make them part of how they see reality.
More Henry Cloud Quotes
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Confronting an irresponsible person is not painful to him; only consequences are.
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Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are. If you show up in a masquerade outfit, neither is going to happen.
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Things don’t change in a marriage until the spouse who is taking responsibility for a problem that is not hers decides to say or do something about it.
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For someone’s character to grow, it has to be free from internal attack. Falling down never stopped children from developing. But getting yelled at, criticized, and put down can stop them for life.
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If people are really narcissistic or have a need to be seen as more than they really are, or to be admired as having it all together, then they cannot be followed and trusted by others.
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You aren’t alive if you aren’t in need.
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The natural response to evaluation is to feel judged. We have to mature to a place where we respond to it with gratitude, and love feedback.
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The fool tries to adjust the truth so he does not have to adjust to it.
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Who a person is will ultimately determine if their brains, talents, competencies, energy, effort, deal-making abilities, and opportunities will succeed.
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Boundaries are basically about providing structure, and structure is essential in building anything that thrives.
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Everything has seasons, and we have to be able to recognize when something’s time has passed and be able to move into the next season. Everything that is alive requires pruning as well, which is a great metaphor for endings.
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Independence is not an option for us. Remember, God existed without us.
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We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.
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Endings are a part of life, and we are actually wired to execute them. But because of trauma, developmental failures, and other reasons, we shy away from the steps that could open up whole new worlds of development and growth.
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Be Hard on the issue, Soft on the person.
HENRY CLOUD