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Just as we leave the effects of our work behind in results, we leave the effects of our interactions with people in their hearts, minds, and souls.

Henry Cloud

Encourage literally came from “in courage.” The courage is put “into” you from outside. Our character and abilities grow through internalizing from others what we do not possess in ourselves.
HENRY CLOUD

Character Courage Encouragement Growth Ourselves Possession
True intimacy is only build around the freedom to disagree.
HENRY CLOUD

Built Disagree Freedom Intimacy True
Endings are a part of life, and we are actually wired to execute them. But because of trauma, developmental failures, and other reasons, we shy away from the steps that could open up whole new worlds of development and growth.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
We have our own thoughts, and if we want others to know them, we must tell them.
HENRY CLOUD

Ourselves Talk Thinking
To get greater than 100% return on a growth step, give up defensiveness. Defensiveness stifles performance, and destroys relationships.
HENRY CLOUD

Destroy Greatness Performance Relationship Return
We all make mistakes, but the people who thrive from their mistakes are the successful ones.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
The business of church is ultimately people. You’re trying to heal people, grow people, teach people, and mend people. And when leaders spend all of their time helping and growing other people, they ignore their own growth.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
It is true that you get what you tolerate.
HENRY CLOUD

Tolerate True Yourself
If people are really narcissistic or have a need to be seen as more than they really are, or to be admired as having it all together, then they cannot be followed and trusted by others.
HENRY CLOUD

Follow Narcissism People Togetherness Trust
There is a difference between solitude and isolation. One is connected and one isn’t. Solitude replenishes, isolation diminishes.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
I’m not an expert in the sociological realities of all the pastors in the world, but I would say that there are some very, very positive things about the state of integrity in church leaders.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
Dating should be a part of your life, not your life a part of dating. There is more to life than finding a date.
HENRY CLOUD

Date Finding Life
In a very real way, ownership is the essence of leadership. When you are ridiculously in charge, then you own whatever happens in a company, school.
HENRY CLOUD

Company Essence Leadership Reality School Way
When leaders lead in ways that people’s brains can follow, good results follow as well.
HENRY CLOUD

Brain Follow Leadership People Result Well
Leave your pride, ego, and narcissism somewhere else. Reactions from those parts of you will reinforce your children’s most primitive fears.
HENRY CLOUD

Children Fear Leave Pride Reaction Yourself
Dating is a place to practice how to relate to other people.
HENRY CLOUD

Date People Place Practice
Be Hard on the issue, Soft on the person.
HENRY CLOUD

Issues Person Problem Relationship Soft
A leader’s responsibility is to cause a vision and mission to have tangible results in the real world.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
Dating is a give and take. If you only see it as “Taking,” you are not getting it.
HENRY CLOUD

Date Equality Yourself
Things don’t change in a marriage until the spouse who is taking responsibility for a problem that is not hers decides to say or do something about it.
HENRY CLOUD

Change Decision Marriage Responsibility
To rescue people from the natural consequences of their behavior is to render them powerless.
HENRY CLOUD

Consequence Natural People Power Rescue
If your boundary training consists only of words, you are wasting your breath. But if you ‘do’ boundaries with your kids, they internalize the experiences, remember them, digest them, and make them part of how they see reality.
HENRY CLOUD

Boundary Breathe Experience Reality Remember Training Yourself
The extent to which two people in a relationship can bring up and resolve issues is a critical marker of the soundness of a relationship.
HENRY CLOUD

Criticism Issues People Relationship Sound
Successful people stick to what they are good at and find ways to make that larger.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
The amount of truth a relationship can handle is proportional to the amount of perceived love that’s present.
HENRY CLOUD

Amount Love Present Relationship Truth
A culture is like an immune system. It operates through the laws of systems, just like a body. If a body has an infection, the immune system deals with it. Similarly, a group enforces its norms, either actively or passively.
HENRY CLOUD

Active Culture Group Immunity Infection System
We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.
HENRY CLOUD

Behavior Change Motivational Ourselves Pain

Just as we leave the effects of our work behind in results, we leave the effects of our interactions with people in their hearts, minds, and souls.

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Just as we leave the effects of our work behind in results, we leave the effects of our interactions with people in their hearts, minds, and souls.

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Popular Authors

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